Week 16-That Kindness Thing

Our assignment this week is to find 2 acts of kindness everyday, as well as be kind yourself. Okay, I can do that. Day one easy enough. Day two, again easy. Day three, wait a minute. The human soul, in general is kind. There should be kindnesses everywhere, all the time. We shouldn’t have to be told to be kind. That should just be a natural part of everyday life. It goes along with respect for others

Children need to be taught respect, not just for others, but for themselves as well as everything. That will give value to everyone and everything in the child’s eye as well as the recipients eye. Kindness as well as a lot of other values go along with respect.

Children who aren’t taught respect are sometimes labeled “spoiled brats.” It’s not the child’s fault. He doesn’t know any better.

But as adults, we have learned. Our old blueprint may be a spoiled brat, but we have experienced kindness enough to know about it, to receive it, and how good it feels to give it.

Now that we are focusing on kindness, it should be evident everywhere. From itty bitty, almost not worth mentioning kindnesses, to great big over the top kindnesses. We just didn’t pay attention to it before.

Now that our focus has changed, aren’t you smiling just a little bit more?

Week 15-Change

“Our actions are not governed by knowledge, but by custom, precedent, and habit.”

This statement had me baffled. How do we change, if our actions are based on previous action? It’s like the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg.

I was stuck on this sentence for a long time trying to logically figure it out. Oh, wait. Let’s read the next sentence, “That the only way we can get ourselves to apply knowledge is by a determined conscious effort.”

Okay, so I’m not stuck anymore, relief.

This course is all about change. We’ve been given so many ways to help us change, to use several different methods to apply a determined conscious effort, until that effort becomes a custom, precedent, or habit, and conscious effort is no longer needed.

This is a constantly changing world. We need to be able to change. All these methods to help us change enable us to change any behavior of ourselves that we want, whether simple or complex.

Knowing how to change isn’t going to get us anywhere. We have to apply it. We have to make a determined conscious effort.

Now I know to read the next sentence before spending all day trying to figure out one sentence. Don’t take the sentence by itself or out of context. Read one or two sentences before it and one or two sentences after it. Oh wait, I’ve created precedence. I can change.

I have had the word “focus” posted on my bulletin board for two years trying to keep my life focused on the things that are important to me, but life kept getting in the way and soon I would be sidetracked. I am learning to make a determined conscious effort to stay focused, to set new precedents, create new customs, and create new habits for the things that are important to me. I am learning to stay focused on life, not just on one sentence.

 

Week 14-And the moral of the story is. . .

I just got done watching October Sky. I don’t normally choose to watch movies like this. I have seen “Cool Runnings” and “Ruby” several times and I knew October Sky would be similar. After using several tissues, I was able to compose myself.

It helped to take notes of the 4 things that Mark mentioned. They weren’t that hard to find. It also brought home the fact that you can use this process on anything that needs to be accomplished from fixing dinner to buying your dream home.

What fascinated me about this movie is how smart the son was to continue to reach out to his Dad. I hit pause several times to explain things to my 9 year old granddaughter who was watching it with me. My daughter, her mother, has several of the qualities that the dad had. I wanted my granddaughter to know how much her mother loves her and is trying to do her best to raise her. I wanted my granddaughter to know that no matter how mad her mother was, that she should continue to reach out to her mother.

I don’t choose movies like this because of the crying thing. However, I do not regret watching this movie.

Week 13-Persistence

Okay, so we’re 13 weeks in. New habits should be forming. Things should be getting easier and going smoother. Why is my old blue print screaming so loud and seemingly doing everything in it’s power to derail the new blueprint? The new peptides should be there and the old peptides should have faded by now!

Four of the adults in our family have started a new eating plan. It is going quite smooth. No trouble here with the old peptides trying to beat out the new peptides. It seems like these old peptides quietly went to sleep and only wake up once in a while and go right back to sleep without much commotion.

I make a new schedule to fit all the new things in and find conflict almost at every turn! Ahhhhhh!

I am fine. I just needed to vent.

One thing that hasn’t had to change because this peptide was already in place, was persistence. Other people called it stubbornness.

The old peptides (will eventually) disappear and the new ones are being created. Now that I’ve got that out of my system, my persistence (or stubbornness) helps me to continue on.

I persist.

I succeed!

 

Week 12-The 50 Minute Sit

The “Sit” has been hard for me. I get restless, my mind wanders and the next thing I know, I’m waking up. So I sit for a shorter time frame. I make it work for me.

The 50 minute sit while repeating our 1 sentence DMP was extremely difficult for me.

When I was a child, I cried very easily. If someone looked at me wrong, I would burst into tears. It took me years to harden my emotions so I wouldn’t cry so easily. This is why it’s hard for me to be emotional.

Looking at myself in the mirror for that long, emphasizing certain words, while trying to keep my emotions hardened and keep them from taking over, I would laugh. It felt good to see my face smiling back at me. But it brought back all those memories of being embarrassed for crying for no reason and getting teased by the other kids.

But I kept going-the full 50 minutes. My emotions came out as laughter, not crying. I was okay with that. When the 50 minutes was over, I was relieved. I was also more at peace with my emotions, and my DMP didn’t seem so far fetched anymore.

I wouldn’t have chosen to do this exercise and I probably wouldn’t chose to do it again. But since I did do it, I will look at all the positives that came from it, and continue working towards my DMP with gusto!

 

Week 12-I promise!

We’ve been saying “I promise” a lot. I have always hesitated to promise anything. I don’t like lying in any way shape or form from anyone, especially me. I don’t like to promise unless I know for sure that I will absolutely do it. So saying “I promise” these last 12 weeks has been bothering me, because I haven’t been able to do everything 100% and keep my promise.

I resolved that conflict this week. There’s no logical reason for my conclusion. It just popped into my head at some point. We are training the subby. It’s a process. Everything we’ve been studying has been a process. Learning to keep these promises is part of the process.

So I keep on promising and I’m doing better, because I don’t want to be a liar. I’m learning to keep these promises.

Outside of this class, I don’t promise unless I know for sure that I will absolutely do it.

 

Week 11-Much More Calm

My life is settling into a new routine, mainly with household chores and new eating habits. “Do it now” is helping me a lot in this area. Not watching near as much T. V. is helping as well. (My husband would never let me keep the T. V.  turned off all the time.) Why we picked now, to change our eating habits was impulsive. But as an after thought we realized it will help us to not overeat as much during the holidays.

I’ve had some epiphanies this last week that most of you have probably already had, some unexpected business events and some personal events as well. I knew this would happen eventually so I didn’t give up. I knew it was just taking me longer.

I’m excited about what is coming. Next year there are a lot of things that are going to happen that are on my movie poster. And I’m sure there will be many other things that I don’t know about yet. My DMP doesn’t seem so far fetched anymore. It is easier for me to visualize the events leading up to the realization of my DMP. And then I will need to pick a new DMP!

I am extremely grateful for everyone who has helped me get this far and I am excited about what is to come!

Week 10-My Saturday Morning Revelation

There are techniques galore! Everyone has a great idea that works for them!

The techniques and the great ideas work. . .because these people believe. They believe in their product. They believe in the company. They believe in their system. But most importantly they believe in themselves.

You will never succeed until you believe that you deserve it! If you don’t believe that you deserve it, you will never succeed.

There are lots of reasons that people don’t believe in themselves. It doesn’t matter what the reason is. It matters that the reason is there. How do you get rid of that? How do you overcome that?

This is where I’m at right now. These are the questions that I’m asking. I don’t want another technique or great idea that works for someone else.

I need to figure this out for me. No one can tell me exactly how to do this. No one can do it for me. I can list all the reasons in the world that I deserve to succeed, but until I believe, deep down inside of me, that I deserve to succeed, I will not succeed.

I will not stay where I’m at right now. I will persist until I succeed.

Week 10 Wait! What?

My brain wants to stop. Too many new things. Why did I start something new right now? Too much to think about. December-too busy. Make Christmas cookies. Don’t eat them, eat healthy. A week off from the webinar. Still not enough time to do everything. Too hard to process all these new things with so much to do!

Wait a minute. It’s Friday. What happened? Where did my week go? I still have a huge list of things to do!

Old blueprint. . . New blueprint where are you? I need help!

Deep breath. Another one. Deep breath.

My brain is calming down. Still lots of things to do, but I will do what I can and the world won’t end if I don’t get it all done. Start with the daily readings and breath.

Ahh. Life is better now. Thanks.

Week 9-No Opinions?

I live in Nebraska. Most of us really like our football team. We talk about it almost as much as we talk about the weather. We got a new coach this season. There’s been some changes. The team is adjusting. But we’re not winning as many games. And, there is lots of talk, mostly about the coach. A lot of people think he should be fired.

I listen and think about how far I’ve come in just 9 weeks. It’s really hard not to give my opinion. Sometimes my mouth just starts talking before I realize it. It’s really hard to listen to people bad mouth someone else especially when they know very little about what they are actually talking about. Today after watching the game, I had to just get up and leave the room. My family were “discussing” the attitude of the announcers, the refs, the “should haves” and the “shouldn’t haves” of the game. It was stressful listening to all these opinions, realizing that nothing was going to be accomplished by this discussion, and it never even would have happened if we had won the game. It might have been their way of releasing their emotion about how the game ended. Everyone ended up even more upset.

Then the light bulb lit up and I finally understand a bigger and better reason for not giving opinions. Nothing gets accomplished and everyone ends up even more upset.

9-6 knowing the truth is a condition precedent to every right action. There is no truth in opinions! Draw your own conclusions.